CChoose no sleep for twelve years, laying there night after night just waiting for the screaming and vomiting to begin, knowing that it will so why go to sleep anyway?

Choose trying desperately to feed your child anything that they will eat and keep down, throwing away all of your plans of what a good mother you will be by getting your child to only eat organic produce. And just when you find something that they will like , they change their mind again.

Choose fight after fight with medics, social workers , education, people on the street that stare, until eventually you know which battles to pick and you become an expert on social care law and human rights.

Choose changing four nappies in two hours, pulling up medication on autopilot, trying to juggle work, the housework, being a wife, daughter friend while all the while feeling guilty that you are not giving anyone your full attention.

Choose letting go of the friends who were never really friends and truly treasuring the good friends that you have.

Choose picking up shit, after all your house often resembles Watership down.

Choose giving up your social life, trying to decide between going out or sleeping when you have some down time. Whichever you choose you wish that you had chosen the other.

Choose being a helicopter parent, watching your child for the slightest temperature change, looking “a bit off”. Being devastated and terrified when another child with the same syndrome as yours loses their courageous battle for life.

Choose getting bitten, slapped, punched and getting your remaining hair pulled out.

Choose a completely different way of looking at the world. of becoming a much nicer person, of finding a love you only dreamed possible.

Choose knowing that you will go to bed tonight and worry yourself sick, but in the morning that one smile will make you forget the night before.

Choose our life.