As many of you know we share our home and our lives with the Christmas sodding cow, however we also have Gwen whom the vet described as ” some sort of terrier ” , Will the somewhat bemused Persian cat and Little sox who is a domestic short haired assassin.
We live in harmony for the most part and Jack and Lucy love our pets. However along the way we have had some interesting experiences with our family and the animals that share our home. Will the somewhat bemused Persian is an absolute darling, he never complains when Jack carries him around like a clutch bag, in fact he seems to encourage it. On one occasion Jack approached me, cat in hand and said ” Aw mam I love pussy” , I managed to not spit coffee everywhere and reassure Jack that Will loved him too, I mean that is a conversation that I was not ready to have”
Before Will we had an adorable little cat called Harvey, Jack was only 2 when Harvey came to live with us, having never owned a cat before I bought him an igloo type bed to sleep in ( experienced cat owners can stop laughing now) anyway I was in the kitchen making Jack his lunch when I heard an almighty cacophony, I turned around to see Jack with said igloo wedged upon his head, the igloo was moving in all directions as Harvey was trapped inside it. I managed to extracate Jack and Harvey from the contraption and promptly threw it in the bloody bin.
We took Harvey to the vet for a check up when we adopted him, the vet took his temperature. Later that day I caught Jack trying to stick a jumbo crayon up the cats bum. We seldom talk about it as it’s far too traumatic, it’s is now only referred to as the crayola suppository incident 😳
Then there were the 4 goldfish. We let Jack name them to foster a sense of ownership and all that jazz, yeah we ended up with goldfish named Grandads car, pysgod ( Welsh for fish) Iggle piggle and number 4 . People still contact us on Facebook so that Jack can suggest names for people’s pets ( true story) so far he has named a rabbit seasick and a dog dickhead.
Then there was the time that Jack saw our neighbours dog having a wee and then took off his trousers and pants and pissed on the line post.
The eccentricity is not just confined to domestic animals , oh no. Jack once called me to tell me ” there’s a bee downstairs buzzing himself” just how one buzzes oneself remains a mystery . Lucy also called us one day to say there was a bee in the hot tub, I rushed into the garden but could see no bee in evidence, upon further probing Lucy confessed that the bee was now in her belly. Que another call to the poisons centre in Cardiff.
And finally who can forget the day the kids and I arrived home to see Gwen proudly strutting up the close , she had escaped. Jack kept out of the car and proceeded to chase her up the close in the style of Benny Hill .
God our neighbours must love us