I find myself saying ” of course” about 100 times a day. It’s always followed by – he did, she did, they are or other variations on the same theme. It’s either said or thought in a sarcastic or resigned tone and followed by an eye roll. 

Jack and Lucy say and do ridiculous things on a daily basis, I now expect it and not a great deal surprises me anymore. For example today alone we have had ” maaaam Jack is peeing in the shower again” I should clarify that he wasn’t actually taking a shower at the time, he was just peeing into the shower. And ” maaam lucy is eating her snot again” I suppose it makes a change from her trying to eat Jacks hair wax. 

Last year the kids were in bed when there was an almighty banging sound resonating throughout the house, we immediately jumped up and started bleeding radiators and checking pipes. The noise continued, I was looking up the number for the plumber when Ian shouted down the stairs ” it’s ok, it’s just Lucy kicking the crap out of her radiator” , my first thought ” of course it is” . On the subject of plumbers , we did actually call one last year as our downstairs loo was broken, he dismantled it and then called us to say that he had found a whole toilet roll, a hearing aid and a collection of toys down there. We weren’t even surprised.  On another occasion a washing machine repair man came to find out why one ( yes we have more than one) of our washing machines was flooding the utility room, he called Ian and said ” I’m a bit confused mate, it looks as though someone has bitten a chunk out of the rubber seal” – of course they had. 

And who can forget the time I called Ian to tell him that Jack and picked a huge hole in his duvet and was wearing it like a poncho. 

Or the time that Ian called me to tell me that whilst he was bending over to wash Jacks feet in the shower Jack had shoved his knob in his ear ( Ian’s ear, not his own because that would be weird πŸ™„) 

Or last Christmas when I was changing Lucy’s nappy and was a tad mystified to find tinsel, I asked her what she had been eating, her response of ” the Christmas tree” just made me roll my eyes and think the usual response. I mean who doesn’t like a festive themed shite? 

Jack has hypermobility , on one occasion Ian told me that Jack was upstairs with his knees either side of his head and was looking up his bum hole. Of course he was. 

Today has been a particularly tough day, the kids have waged war on each other every single time they are in the same room. Ian is nursing a new collection of bites and I have a really sore back and a swollen thumb from Lucy wrangling. We are both exhausted and I’ve had a few moments today when I’ve thought to myself ” I can’t do this anymore” . Lucy is now in bed and Jack is much calmer without his arch nemesis to irritate him, I’ve had a glass of wine and am listening to old music as a way to relax, Ian just returned from the shop and asked ” Kath, I just heard you singing Hey Jude on the top of your voice from outside” my reply? ” of course you did” πŸ™„

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